The Marketing of Ugly Men's Shoes

Or Where Can I Find a Low-Slung Pointy-Toed Shoe with a Cuban Heel that Laces Up the Side?

I once saw a pair of shoes that I have spent my whole life trying to buy. They were low-slung, with a pointy toe and Cuban heels and they laced up the side. You can just picture that shoe in your mind right now, can’t you? I’m not normally much into fashion—a pair of Levi’s and a T-shirt with a good political slogan is enough to take me anywhere I really need to go—but I do have a weakness for a nice shoe. Not that I’m into Imelda Marcos territory…or even into just your standard female territory when it comes to shoes. (That’s not meant to be sexist, just my own personal observation that most of the females I have known have had far more shoes than they need.)

As you can from see from the picture there I have a great affinity for the classic black and white 40’s wingtips. And during the eighties I mostly eschewed (good pun there) sneakers in favor of some nice pointy toe shoes. But I never could locate my low-slung, pointy toed, Cuban heeled shoe that laces up the side. The contemporary shoe market is a difficult time for a guy like me who prefers shoes that come to a point. I swear shoes today are about as ugly as they have ever gotten; every model seems to made with the misguided idea that all toes are the same length. I suppose I might have a unique case since I was born with the mark of a genius: a second toe that is longer than the big toe. You didn’t know that deformity is a mark of genius? Look it up.