Women and Dating After 40

Over 40, Single, Without Kids and OK... Believe It or Not

It's time to Stop Swimming in the "Sea-of-Should"

There are a lot of unspoken rules in our world. We are a society of sheep-fish swimming in a Sea-of- Should that we can't even see. These "Shoulds" float around us inexorably and invisibly, tainting every breath we take, every decision we make about ourselves and others and every feeling we experience.

One of the major "Shoulds" about women is the unwritten, unspoken rule that if you are female and single there is something wrong. You should be unhappy about your man-less situation. What have you done to scare him away and what can you do to catch him and keep him?

If you are single and female that is pretty bad.

If you are female, single and over 40 there is double reason to be pitied.

If you are single, female, over 40 and childless there is triple reason to feel sorry for you.

Much of our unhappiness as women comes from believing the silent cues that float in the Sea-of-Should. Go to the movies or to dinner alone and people will studiously look away the same way they try to pretend a person in a wheel chair is not in a wheel chair.

We are told by modern psychotherapists: " Woman's animal instinct is to be part of a group." We are told by biologists. "A woman's deepest fear is being alone." Can any one really prove that all of this theory is true and if so should this drive us to make stupid choices in a mate?

If you live alone it is because you are a reject or a hermit or a witch! If you are considered attractive by society's standards you must be alone because you are an uncompromising bitch who is too hard to please! You "Should" put up with whatever it takes to be in a relationship according to the "Sea-of-Should."

The bottom line is that there must be something wrong with you if you are single and female. You have to be depressed about your plight because it is a given that no woman can make herself happy and fulfilled . She must have outside help at all times.