The Googling of America: Soliciting Writer Whores to Turn Cheap Tricks

Oscar Wilde thought "writing is like sex, " spouting off that "first you do it for love, then for a few close friends, and finally for money." George Bernard Shaw propositioned that "lack of money is the root of all evil." Robert Frost (in

"The Road Not Taken") reflected that "two roads" lay before him, diverging in a yellow wood, with the choice of direction being his and consequences of that choice making "all the difference."

Few will ever ascend to the stature of a Wilde, Shaw, or Frost. Yet, we write - most of us have been writing since our elementary years. Among us are even a few writers.

What follows is metaphorical satire, although some will feel it a lampoon. Many should smile - yet think. Some may take offense - they, too, should think. Out of a comedy of errors can come a tragedy of consequences. Ultimately, there is truth here - or, at minimum, truthiness.

*****

"Find a pretty idea. Flash your bling. Say that you'll let her touch, if only she'll do you. Whisper how much you'd love to Google her - over and over. Pander to her need for acceptance and recognition, telling her she's hot, telling her how good you know she could be. Then lie back as she climbs into bed with you, losing her virtue. Enjoy her faux gratuitous gyrations and wait until she screams Yahoo!"

"Congrats...you've added another writer whore to your stable. Kick back, relax, go surf the 'net, looking for your next bitchin' conquest. And her? Forget her. Soon enough, she'll be on a nowhere street of broken algorithms and ill-coded gibberish, soliciting johns searching for their turn to Google a pretty idea."

"And you? You're sweet-talking that next, new pretty idea."

"It all makes perfect AdSense, doesn't it?"

"Pimp, whore, cheap tricks, pander: not the usual and customary keywords associated with a community of writers, hmmm? Well, things change don't they? This is, after all, a global economy wherein quality, thoughtful, insightful, useful content - written in real English - is irrelevant. Just dress up today's keywords and keyword phrases in a provocative, promiscuous package and put her on Main Street for the johns to Google."