What to Do After an Affair

What happens when one partner learns that their partner has cheated?  The most crucial step after a cheating incident has occurred is considering health concerns.  The reason is that in addition to deeply hurting one’s partner, the partner has now been exposed to the potential of a life threatening disease such as AIDS. 





Even if a condom was used, there are no guarantees of complete safety.  In fact, some STD’s go on without detection.  One such STD is the Human Papillomavirus, more commonly known as "genital warts."





The U.S. Dept. of Health stated the following:  "Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is one of the most common causes of sexually transmitted infection (STI) in the world. Many people infected with HPV have no symptoms. 





High-risk HPV may cause abnormal Pap smear results, and could lead to cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, anus, or penis."  Considering the consequences, as soon as one discovers that a partner has cheated, they should be tested for various forms of STDs including AIDS.





Even if a partner says the other person is safe, automatically trusting their word is not in anyone’s best interests.  If the partner has already lied and cheated, trusting them with safety issues is incongruous.





When all is said and done, is saying I’m sorry enough? Unfortunately, many people believe, once a cheater, always a cheater and sadly, some people have a predilection for cheating. Saying I’m sorry may just be an attempt at going through the motions.





If that is the case, there is nothing the non-cheating person can do to stop their partner from cheating and therefore saying I’m sorry, is not enough. But if one is truly sorry for the indiscretion, and both agree to work on the marriage, seeking the expertise of a qualified counselor is paramount.