Million Dollar Inventions

My brain keeps spitting these inventions out, but I’m no inventor/engineer/financier. When you develop one of these and make your first million, please remember the staving author.

The Blue Tooth Hat
I’m constantly chatting people up, only to be given the finger. No not THAT finger; the hang-on-a-second-I’m-on-the-phone finger. (Well sometimes I get the other finger, but let’s not discuss it.) How am I to know that they are talking on their Blue Tooth phone before I interrupt? The answer is the Blue Tooth Hat.

The concept of the Blue Tooth Hat is simple. Incorporate a light into the hat that is activated when you’re on your cell phone. I envision a neon band encircling the hat so it is visible 360 degrees. This idea has real potential. I see a whole line of Blue Tooth fashion wear. One might even have these items pulsate in response to the conversation; sort of a walk-around-town, disco light. The sky’s the limit.


The Airport Vending Machine
I thought this one up after 9/11 when the TSA stopped allowing simple things like finger-nail trimmers on airplanes. Set up a vending machine that sells all the forbidden items near the baggage claim. The baggage-claim crowd is pretty much a captive audience, milling zombie-like around the carousel in a scene reminiscent of Logan’s Run. The only thing missing are the chants of, “Renew! Renew!” So why not have them, “Buy! Buy!”?

I actually saw this type of vending machine in a hotel recently, but the key to making a million off this is product placement. To be successful with this, you must get your machines into the baggage claim area of major airports. Desperate travelers will be snatching up tiny bottles of shaving cream, tooth paste, and mouthwash at 400% markup. Easy street is yours for the taking.