Epiphany of a Recovering Drug Addict

I did not want to be a high grandmother. Although the courts gave me added incentive to be compliant with a treatment plan, it has been solely my own choice to not use methamphetamine since August of 2007.

My granddaughter is almost six months old now, and I am certain that when she reaches the age of five years old, I will be able to say "I have been clean for five years." The extreme difference between the person I am on methamphetamine and the sober person I am today can be clearly seen. I am gainfully employed and no longer using or dealing drugs.

My treatment plan is to attend UAB Drug Free classes three days a week, attend three NA meetings a week, meet as often as possible with my counselor for one-on-one counseling, and submit to weekly and random urinalysis tests.

I believe my counselor, Stephanie Parent, to be a true miracle worker. She expects a great deal from me but inspires the desire in me to recover. The other women in my Drug Free Group give me no slack either and expect me to stay clean. They cry with me, laugh with me, and work hard toward living a sober life.

Crying in front of others is not something I would have ever done before attending the group. Now, as the hardened shell slowly lifts and others listen and relate with their own experiences, I find myself trusting others in a way I have not done in many, many years.

They accept me for the strung-out monster of a mess that I once was, accept me for the transitional-like recovering addict that I am now, and accept me for the giant recovery tool that I wish to become in the next few years. They truly accept me for who I am, and understand why I made the choices I have made in my life, the good and the bad. They are beautiful parts of my life now, ironically, a life which I fought hard not to have to live for too long.

I believed recovery was like a punishment for my criminal sins. If you were caught with drugs on you or if you break the law, the courts send you to prison or rehab, both of which were like sentences of sobriety to me. But I was wrong.