Imaginary Friends: Should You Encourage Your Child or View it as Red Flag for Emotional Problems

Psychologists say that having an imaginary friend is perfectly normal for young children. It may actually be an indication of high intelligence and creativity. But, what if you seven year old continues to play with an imaginary friend that no one sees but him? Is it a red flag for later social problems or is it normal kid behavior?

The assumption has always been that children outgrow their imaginary friends by the time they are 4 or 5. New research, however, has shown that for many children imaginary companions exist well into elementary school. It is not unusual for children seven, or more, years old to continue to interact with imaginary friends. Most, however, do know that their friends are not real and only pretend they are.

Imaginary Friends Can Be Positive

Having an imaginary friend provides your child with a constant companion who is always ready to listen when he wants to talk. It allows your child to try out new roles, engage in imaginary play, and generally have fun when he is by himself. According to Marjorie Taylor, the head of the psychology department at the University of Oregon, children who have imaginary friends often score higher on tests of verbal skills and have better social understanding than their peers.

Imaginary Friends May Build Courage

The child who is afraid of the dark may suddenly become very brave when his imaginary dinosaur is at his side. An imaginary friend that is all-powerful just might give him the courage to deal with the things your child finds frightening in real life.

Learning Right from Wrong

An imaginary friend also helps your child learn right from wrong. A sure sign that he is beginning to understand right from wrong is when he begins to blame his errors on his imaginary friend. Perhaps his imaginary friend ate the last cookie or forgot to clean up the toys. By blaming the imaginary friend, your child is telling you he knows that it was wrong, but isn't quite ready to accept responsibility for his own actions. Give him time, and he will soon learn to take responsibility for himself.

You Should Be Concerned IF:

Children are often able to draw their imaginary friends in detail.

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