My General Anxiety

As a child growing up I realized that there was just something different about me. I was daddy's little girl to a fault. I clung to my sister's side so tightly that it was as though we were Siamese twins. I hardly ever played outside alone. If my sister and I spent the night over a friend house, I wouldn't get out of the bed until my sister had done so. I relied on her for everything.

Through the years whatever was plaguing me had worsened. I was unable to be anywhere in public by myself. Attending high school became such a problem for me that I eventually stop going. It grew too hard for me to get up every morning for school, extra early, to make sure that my clothes and hair were of perfection. Some days, even after doing my best job on my hair and attire, I would feel as though I looked a mess and would have such a difficult time at school.
It became very hard for me to try and hide that being at school was tormenting me inside. I felt that everyone could see that something was wrong and that I was acting weird.

There was a point in my life when I was scared that I would never be able to hold a job. I had friends, but none that I thought I could not confide in. Problems within my family left me unable to talk to any of them either. For years I felt like everywhere I went everyone was staring at me. My skin would begin to itch whenever I was in the public eye. I would fidget with my hands and would constantly have to move around. Once I cried when my mother left me in the car to pay a bill.

Whatever was wrong with me was driving drown my self-esteem and made me feel worthless. I was 15 years old then. I had no one to talk to, nowhere to turn. I suffered from insomnia for a few years. The insomnia was accompanied with crying. About 16 years old now, I prayed and prayed for a relief from whatever was inflicting me. While up all night watching television, on came an infomercial about anxiety and panic attacks. Many of the symptoms that were described I was experiencing on a daily basis. This had to be the answer to my prayers.