Chaka!

I have nothing but respect for a man who makes his enemies flee in cannibalism. Yes, you read that right, imagine being overcome by a fear so tremendous that you chow down on grandpa because your family can't afford to waste time foraging for food. I'm talking about Chaka, the man, the myth, the legend. This 19th century Zulu king is a perfect example of why a guy with a troubled past should never be given military power. He was knocked around as a kid, standard treatment if you're the illegitimate son of the chief. Eventually that pent up rage bubbled to the surface and he killed the rightful air, taking control of the tribe by force. Fueled by mystic blood lust conjured by a witch doctor, Chaka began dominating enemies of the Zulu nation. After there were no more enemies left, he turned on his own people. He killed cowards so his troops would fight harder. He killed his wives for getting pregnant. He even killed his guards if he was having a bad dream. Chaka slowly went insane until he finally grew weak enough to be murdered by his own generals. It took three spears to the stomach.

There's no question that the tale of Chaka is as brutal as he is awesome, but what really drives me nuts are his final words, "You are killing me in the hope that you will be kings when I am dead, whereas you are wrong, that is not the way it will be because umlungu, the white man, is coming, and it is he who will rule you, and you will be his servants."