Final Fantasy VI Supercondensed

We start off with BIGGS, WEDGE, and an UNKNOWN GREEN-HAIRED SLAVE GIRL raiding the town of NARSHE to find what they believe to be a frozen ESPER. They FIND IT, but BIGGS and WEDGE DISAPPEAR.

Biggs: I guess that's the way it is in show business- "Here today, gone today."

THE UNKNOWN SLAVE GIRL COMMUNICATES with the MINTY-FRESH ESPER, and she REGAINS CONTROL of herself. HOWEVER, THE EMPIRE comes looking for their SLAVE GIRL and she RUNS.

Terra: Okay, I know there's a slew of sex jokes that revolve around the whole "slave" thing, but let me reiterate that I am NOT EASY. I swear, me and Celes are just frien- ........er... oops.

LOCKE, with the assistance of MOG and a bunch of MOOGLES, rescues TERRA.

Terra: Ooh, my knight in shining... bandanas.

They become FUGITIVES, and KING EDGAR and his twin brother SABIN join up. They make their way to the RETURNER'S HIDEOUT. EDGAR HITS ON TERRA, and she BRUSHES HIM OFF LIKE ERASER SHAVINGS.

Terra: Buzz off, creep.

Edgar: Heey, c'mon! It's my duty to please that booty.

The RETURNERS leave the HIDEOUT and are SPLIT UP. LOCKE infultrates the town of SOUTH FIGARO and rescues CELES.

Celes: Thus begins my sordid story of falling for the dashing thief- err, treasure hunter.

Locke: And what a treasure I found! Woo-hoo!

SABIN washes ashore someplace. He recruits SHADOW, and they head to DOMA CASTLE. KEFKA, the CACKLING TWIT, POISONS THE WATER SUPPLY OF DOMA AND EVERYBODY EXCEPT CYAN DIES A SLOW, PAINFUL, BUT NOT TOO DISGUSTING DEATH. CYAN, the template for STEINER, joins SABIN and SHADOW and they RUN.

Sabin: Geez, we do a lot of running in this story.

Shadow: Oh, quiet. It's good for our undeveloped legs.

SHADOW leaves of his own accord and GAU joins up as soon as SABIN gives the lil' guy some FOOD.

Gau: GAU GAU!!! Gau must feed on blood of innocent! Or chicken wings.

TERRA, BANON, and EDGAR take a HIKE to NARSHE. EVERYBODY MEETS UP IN ARVIS' PLACE, and decide to make a stand against the incoming IMPERIAL TROOPS. On their way there, everyone CHEWS THE FAT and TERRA talks with CELES about LOVE.

Celes: Yep, this would be the catalyst for many a Lemon Fanfiction.