Detecting an Abusive Partner

Three years with a tall, dark, and handsome man caused years of consequences. I met him in 2000; I thought he was the perfect guy. Until he began getting in trouble with the law. Nothing major, at first, a few speeding tickets here and there…then there was the possession of marijuana. I asked him several times to stop…it got to the point where I asked him to choose the drugs or me. He chose the drugs because I made him choose. I still stayed with him. Soon he began calling me names like ‘stupid little girl’ and demanding me to do things instead of asking. 

He began making ultimatums if I didn’t do what he wanted me to do. I ended up paying all the bills and paying his truck payments. He began not letting me go to sleep at night until I had sex with him. Joking around, playing, or tickling became hard because he didn’t realize his own strength. He started never coming home at night or even for days at a time. Soon I wanted to move on with someone new, but I was scared to because of what he may do. Three years passed and I was still in the same fearful relationship. Until one day I received a call from a friend of mine who was coming through town to go and visit another friend of ours about an hour north of where I was at. 

The minute I told my boyfriend I was leaving for a day or so, he was overcome by rage and made me choose between my friends or him. I chose my friends. This put him over the edge. He began throwing my belongings out of his room and when I tried to stop him, he picked me up and threw me about five feet into a wall. My screams echoed downstairs where his younger brother, his older sister, and his brother-in-law were.