Interview with a Gaslighting Victim: The Rhonda Parkinson Story

Wikipedia defines this little known evil as such: "Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse. It uses persistent denials of fact which, as they build up over time, make the victim progressively anxious, confused, and less able to trust his or her own memory and perception. A variation of gaslighting, used as a form of harassment, is to subtly alter aspects of a victim's environment, thereby upsetting his or her peace of mind, sense of security, etc."

The term is coined from a 1940's film, Gaslight. The character Gregory lights the gas lamps in the attic, causing the rest of the lamps in the house to dim slightly. When his wife, Paula, comments on the lights' dimming, Gregory tells her that she is imagining things. Paula believes herself alone in the house when the dimming occurs. She is unaware that Gregory has entered the attic from the house next door in order to search for jewels he believes to be hidden there. The sinister interpretation of the change in light levels is part of a larger pattern of deception to which the character Paula is subjected.

Since first writing the article "What Is Gaslighting? The Extremes of Emotional Abuse," I have received numerous emails from victims, many of whom had no idea that they were being subjected to emotional abuse. These victims actually believed they were insane, continually blaming themselves for the problems within the relationships with their abusers.

A middle-aged, Caucasian female from the Western United States contacted me in November of 2007. Currently undergoing therapy with a doctor in her area, Rhonda wants her story to be told. She wishes to help other victims of the cruel gaslighting techniques which seem to be unknown or even overlooked in our busy society.

RP: I was married for ten years to a man who I thought was, you know, "a great guy." We had a son in our second year of marriage, a nice home, and my husband owned and operated three convenience stores. We were happy.

JSC: What happened?