Stillborn Infant: The Long-Term Physical Effects

In 2001 and again in 2004, I delivered still born infants, each under different circumstances. In 2001 our daughter Mary-Therese died at birth after my bag of waters broke and leaked out. She lived almost until her birth about 20 hours later. She was fully developed and lacked only weight, her last layers of skin and a stronger lungs. We do not know what caused the bag of waters to break, but I did show symptoms of a serious staff infection- Strep B virus (fever of 104, intense vomiting) shortly after the amniotic fluid began to leak. Did the infection cause the amniotic sack to break or did the breaking of the sack bring on the infection. We don't know. I'm inclined to believe the former.

In 2004, our daughter Isobella Raine was stillborn, after an ultrasound revealed that she had died in utero. She was also nearing her third trimester. As with Mary Therese, she was fully developed. Initially we were told she was a boy, but the autopsy we chose to have done revealed a complete uterus with tiny ovaries. The pathologist who called with her report was near to tears when she told us. We did not find any reason why Isobella should have died. We had memorial services for both babies. The girls are buried next to each other in a cemetery near our home.

So time has done some healing. That and the prayers and love of family and friends. But I have noticed some long-term physical effects in myself after the births. How much can be attributed to my pregnancies is not easy to specify. But I have some instincts that tell me that there is a direct relationship. I'll share some of them with my readers in hopes that should you or someone you love ever have similar experiences, God forbid, you might at least find some comfort in shared experience and that it might shed some light on what you may feel.