Helping Kids Deal With Divorce

"Divorce" - from the Latin "Divertere"

"Divorce". The Oxford Dictionary defines the word quite simple: "the legal dissolution of a marriage". But from the official definition and the adult perception of the word to what separation means for many kids around the world, there is no narrow path. Several factors intertwine and lead, in countless cases, to a cataclysmic and traumatic experience for the children.

The "D" word is the "monster in the closet"; it becomes "alive" for the young ones and often generates anger, humiliation, anguishes and doubts. Fear of loneliness grows bigger and bigger, a certain sensation of guilt torments the mind of the child, questions arise and some of them are never spoken. Depending on the age and cultural patterns, some of the kids involved in such domestic crises lose interest in particular activities (hobbies or school) while others are trying to deal with their problems in different ways, frequently ignored or simply not noticed by the parents. Acceptance doesn't come easy.

Protecting the Innocents

There is said, many times, "children are the innocent victims of divorce". Sad, but true, kids are victims and this because of the factors brought up above. Aside the lifestyle changes, the most important aspects are related to the children's emotions. Only the idea of "choosing sides" is not perceived as fair by any child - and this is the worse mistake a parent can make. Every adult, when going thru such a hard time, has to think, analyze and act in the best interest of his/her youngster, considering that children have a predisposition to blame themselves for the divorce and that for an immature mind all the aspects of the daily life matter, and changes are not painless. Fact is a child loves and needs both parents.