How to Talk To, or Help, Someone Battling Cancer - During Treatment and After

Before my cancer diagnosis, and subsequent survival of the dreadful horrible disease, I cringed at even the mention or thought of cancer. And yes, the saying "cancer sucks" is most definitely true. There is nothing pleasant or glamorous about treatment, no matter how many loving caring support groups you go to or how many American Cancer Society sponsored programs and events you attend. Don't get me wrong, these things are all well and good, and they may be just the thing to help some people overcome ... but to me they were just one more reminder that I had cancer. Even now that I'm a survivor and no longer in treatment, I get phone calls and emails about an upcoming support group meeting or a survivor rally. Again, these things are probably welcome by some people, but I'm not one of them. I just want to forget about "cancer world" and get on with my life. I do not need constant reminders about cancer and do not want to be a poster girl for strength and courage. I paid my dues and spent enough time in that horrible scary world ... now I just want to stick my head back in the sand and live life again. Is that selfish of me? Probably ... but that is where I'm at right now in my healing process.

So just what are people supposed to do or say around people who are in the process of undergoing treatment to battle cancer, or to someone who has recently survived cancer? I certainly can't speak for everyone but here are a few things that people did for me, or things I wish they would have done or said, during treatment and after (in no particular order).

1. Bring us fun movies to watch, or home videos, or record our favorite TV series for us! If you have a spare travel DVD player, ask us if we want to borrow it. Movies are a great way to pass the time at the cancer clinic where we're hooked up to the IV lines getting treatment. The movies don't necessarily have to be funny but don't ask us to watch some movie about a person with cancer who suffers terribly and dies in the end. I actually had friends do this to me!