How to Talk to Your Infertile Friends

Infertility is a touchy subject for anyone, whether you are experiencing it first-hand or not. I have battled with it for almost nine years now, and it still stuns me at how crude people can be. I have learned, however, that it is because people just don't understand, or in some cases, just don't care. I believe that if you have read this far, that you do care. So for those of you who simply don't know how talk to your infertile friends and are willing to learn, I say thank you. Your compassion and patience during this stressful and emotional time in their lives means more than you could ever know.

Understanding a Little About Infertility Treatments

Unless you have been through infertility treatments, you can never truly appreciate what it is all about. Still , a little sensitivity and understanding from you can make a world of difference for them. Here are just a few things you should understand about what your friend may be going through.

Treatments are expensive. Unless you have amazing insurance, fertility treatments are generally not covered. Treatments range anywhere from a couple hundred dollars to tens of thousands. For some couples, aggressive treatments like in vitro are not an option because of the costs. It is not uncommon to spend $50,000 or more with no success.

Treatments are often embarrassing. Couples are asked to reveal intimate details about their sexual lives and habits. Doctors will discuss your sex life with you in clinical detail, and they will often dictate to you when to have sex to optimize your chances of conceiving. There are also the treatments and tests as well. Both men and women are poked, prodded and tested. All of this can take its toll on you, mentally and physically.

Treatments can be painful. Some fertility treatments can cause a lot of pain. In vitro fertilization, for example, is an invasive procedure that can cause intense pelvic pain and discomfort. Fertility shots are injected daily and are designed to hyperstimulate the ovaries. The ovaries then swell and become tender and painful. Fertility pills can also have the same effect.