In My Life, I Loved You More

That Saturday started off like every other day: I dragged myself out of bed at the crack of dawn, still groggy from an interrupted 3 hours of sleep. My oldest daughter, Jaimie (five) has night frights stemming from her Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Since she was born her inability to block out or process sensory stimulation in her environment has robbed of the precious sleep she needs to function as best as she can. And my boy Xander (one), well, he feels he might miss something if he sleeps. Bottom line: I don't sleep much.

Aside from being exhausted, something else loomed in my ever-active mind. I had a ticket to see RAIN and waffled about whether to go. You see, even though I'm a HUGE Beatles fan-and had wanted to see this super group RAIN for years-I just didn't feel right going. How could I leave my Jaimie when she depended on me so much? What if she freaked out and I wasn't there to sit with her until she calmed herself (unfortunately, her over-sensitivity to touch prevents her from receiving any sort of touch-heartbreaking for a Mom with hungry arms)? Who would make sure every step in her much-needed and excruciatingly precise routine was carried through?

No, I thought. I can't go.

But a dear friend said, "Yes! You ARE going. You haven't gone anywhere since you were pregnant with Jaimie. I'll watch the kids. You have fun. We'll survive.

After much debating and forcing, I caved. I sipped a couple of glasses of Sauvignon Blanc as I got ready. My friend called a cab for me-since I almost changed my mind just before leaving-and off I went.

My seat was excellent: second row off on the right side (that would be on "Paul's" side). I listened to songs from the sixties lightly echoing through the auditorium as people found their seats. In front of me were three of the most wonderful "mom-like" ladies (they made my night so much easier!). Close to show time, Beatles trivia sprung up on the massive screens (I knew all the answers, of course!). Then-the lights went down. My heart pounded with excitement.