How to Attract the Right One: The Ins and Outs of a Dating Plan

Someone once, told me that if something irritates you about someone, imagine it irritating you seven times as much because that is exactly what it will seem like, if you marry the person. This tiny bit of advice put things into perspective for me. The question arises, how do we know, if something about someone we just met will irritate us in the future?

Too often, especially women, but some men, too, do not have a clear sense of self. I mean to say; they have not clearly identified who they are, what their likes and dislikes are, or what their wants and needs are. When we don't have a clear sense of self we are prone to rush into relationships. Sometimes, any old relationship will do. When this happens, we may take on the interest, hobbies, likes and dislikes of the other party. What happens next is we lose what little sense of self we may have left. We become a non-entity, living vicariously through our partners. This behavior promotes a total emotional dependence, which usually puts a huge strain on the relationship and can results in chasing the other person away. Things have become irritating; does this scenario sound familiar?

Romantic involvement with someone we have little or nothing in common can cause conflicts to arise in relationships. We need to have a clear sense of who we are and where we are in life; otherwise, how can we know, if we have things in common with others.What we want in life and why we want what we want is important, too. Not only are these things important to us, but important to the ones with whom we are involved. The wants in our lives need to be very similar to those of the person we intend to hook-up with, if there is any hope for our relationship to last for the long haul. I think the saying goes, "You can't know where you are going if you don't know where you are at."