Coping with Loss on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day, like most holidays, can be a very difficult time for people that have recently lost a loved one. Even just seeing the usual television commercials portraying happy couples or a frantic spouse trying to find that perfect last-minute gift at the local discount store can trigger overwhelming feelings of loss, loneliness, and grief.

If you have recently lost a loved one, chances are you don't need to know this. You have already experienced the Valentine's Day Blues in one form or another. Here are some ideas to help you cope with Valentine's Day.

1. Give yourself permission to set limits. For example, if you can't bear the thought of going out without your loved one on Valentine's Day, it truly is acceptable to say "No thanks" when your friends are trying to drag you out to a party. If the party is usually at your place, you could ask someone else to host, but offer to help with clean up the next day.

2. Brighten up your home and workplace with fresh flowers. Take advantage of the availability of multitudes of fresh flowers on the cheap. The fragrance and color are cheering and will help stave off the Valentine's Day Blues.

3. Be good to yourself. Do something you have been wanting to do for a while. Go buy those Italian shoes. See that movie. Try out that new restaurant. If you find doing things alone on Valentine's Day too depressing, invite a group of friends or family to go along.

4. Use the day to help others. Take the day off from work and spend the day volunteering at your local nursing home, hospital, homeless shelter, or humane society. There are few things that will lift your spirits more effectively than helping those less fortunate than yourself.

5. Lean on your support. Don't pretend everything is fine if it isn't, and don't isolate yourself from friends and family. Those who love you want to help. Give them a chance to do so.