The Bucky Phillips Story: The Coolest (Potential) Serial Killer You've Never Heard of

NOTE: Unfortuantely, this story never had a chance because they caught Bucky before it got to the editors. Here it is regardless though because I like the picture of Bucky's girlfriend...

Have you heard about Ralph "Bucky" Phillips? You haven't. I got a feeling that you will, a deep, dark, sort of feeling. Serial killers are making a huge comeback. In fact, not since the early 70's has there been such a rise in serial killer antics and, well, killings. This guy Bucky isn't a serial killer yet, per say. He's still working under the tagline of totally deranged, cop killin' fugitive… not bad, but it doesn't have the scary, evil, national news grabbing veracity and coldhearted weight that SERIAL KILLER* carries (On a side note, The Serial Killers would be a totally awesome, yet simple name for a punk band... I wonder if it's been used yet).

On April 2 (that's right, five months ago) Bucky escaped from the county jail by using a can opener to make a 2-by-2-foot opening in the kitchen ceiling and escaping through the roof. He was serving 90 days for a parole violation. How sick is this motherfucker? 90 Days? He couldn't do 90 days? Granted, Bucky is a lifelong criminal and he's probably spent the equivalent of something like several years in jail for various offenses, but 90 days? Shit.

So what has Bucky been up to over the past five months? Oh, not much. He's only shot three cops in two separate incidents (one died after an unsuccessful leg amputation), stolen 15(!) cars and basically terrified the entirety of upstate New York. 15 cars.