4 Ways to Break Up with Your Special Someone on Valentines Day with a Song

This list was first published with my University newspaper. I had no idea what I was in for! Oh, the hate mail I received for "ruining Valentines day" and being "a sick, sadistic writer..." It was incredible. So, for your entertainment and mine, I submit to you my most hated article ever:

4 Ways to Break Up With Your Special Someone On Valentines Day With a Song
by Nathan Hale

1. Just tell them you want to break up...hey, the truth always hurts, but somebody's gotta say it. Sing "Babe I'm Going to Leave You" by Led Zeppelin.

2. Tell them, "It's God's will." To the girls at HSU: don't pretend like you haven't used this one before. Play "Friends are Friends Forever" by Michael W. Smith.

3. Let the other person know that "just have to find yourself." Put your hair in pig tails and film yourself in black and white singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" from the Wizard of Oz.

4. Confront them on how badly they've been treating you. Demand what you deserve! Grab the nearest mic and belt "R-E-S-P-E-C-T..."

Disclaimer: These suggestions are for entertainment purposes only. I am not actually advocating that you break up with your special someone on Valentines Day in such a heartless manor. Use these at your own risk. But if you do take any of my advice, please tape it and send it in. 'Cause that'd be funny.