My Cat is Smarter Than Your Honor Student

A few years ago, the bumper stickers that said, "My kid is an honor student at...." were very popular and so were the one that said, "My kid beat up your honor student."

Now, I'm looking for one that says my cat is smarter than your honor student.

I think it might offend some people, but would sell very well.

I am truly amazed at the intelligence of cats, especially mine, and am thoroughly convinced that they are smarter than a great many teenagers and college students whom I have known.

A recent issue of Cat Fancy magazine told me that cats can learn a new word every month and have the intelligence (we think) of the average toddler. Cats may be smarter than chimps, but we can't seem to get them to participate in the testing - proof of intelligence if ever I've seen it. Teenagers seem to be able to forget everything in three seconds flat.

So, you say, why can I claim that my cat is smarter than honor students? Unabashed, but unscientific, evidence. These are my case proofs. I once thought I simply had an exceptional cat. I do, but a lot of other cats are smart too.

Here are the top ten reasons my cat is smarter than your child.

1. 1. My cat is polite. Specifically, when she wants something she will squeak to get your attention and when instructed, she will say please. This is something akin to asking a dog to speak and sounds vaguely like "Squeak".

2. 2. My cat understands danger and flees from it. On February 5, terribly thunderstorms rocked the region. Immediately prior to the beginning of the tornado sirens, my cat entered the room where the three humans were and said, "Squeak, squeak" which roughly translates to "There's a big scary storm and we should hide from it." She went to the basement for the next two hours. The humans went outside to watch the storm.