Medical Disagreements: When Doctors and Family Members Clash

The short, mumbling doctor, who curiously resembled an arrogant Barney Rubble whizzed in and out of the examination room quicker than we could say, “Doc?” We had many questions, but were still hurried along, feeling like part of a medical assembly line. We were the shadows who helplessly looked, listened and learned while a loved one battled a terminal disease, risky medical procedures and life-threatening odds. We were the support; backbone and shoulder to cry on…we were the family members.

I recently endured the painful journey of colon cancer; not physically or medically, but emotionally. The disease took one of my relative’s away, leaving this void, which quickly filled with sadness, frustration, anger and regret. The process of watching someone deteriorate from a completely unforgiving depletion of the body and mind is hard enough, but to also battle doctors and nurses along the way is equally draining.

Doctors Can’t Help It

Some doctors will answer your questions with no regard to the delicacy of the situation. They instantly become a robot filled with textbook explanations and cold, hard facts that they spit out in rapid succession. Numerous doctors seem bothered or annoyed with questions, while some try to mask their negative assessments and personal opinions with avoidance. The problem with being a specialist ranked among the top in your field is that you get easily offended. When we returned from receiving a second opinion, our doctor turned red in the face and began to speak in sharp tones.

I’ve had doctors simply walk out of the room on me when I question their judgment. “How dare you” is the expression written on their face, but if it’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to question anything and everything. Why are we expected to believe everything we are told?