Home Makeover Alert! the Benefits of Double Decker Rooms

By Jetlag Democracy, published Oct 18, 2006
Published Content: 449  Total Views: 784,727  Favorited By: 23 CPs
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Hello Cyberspace! Sometimes I just feel the need to offer some really cool, and affordable, home makeover advice. This is one of those times. If you haven't thought about the benefits of a double decker room than you haven't really thought about anything, you silly little gosling. But luckily your friend Jetlag Democracy is here to fill you in. What's that? You've never even heard about double decker rooms? (GASP) Oh dear, please, hunker down with a nice Cosmo or Lemon Drop Martini and let me tell you alllllll about it!

A double decker room is just like a regular room only it has two levels (duh). It's totally all the rage on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and on any (good) home makeover website. Basically all you need to get started is this…

-A House that has rooms (that you own!)
-Lots and lots of wood and nails and tool type things

and

-SPIRIT!

It's imperative that you have the first and last thing of that list I just made. For starters, it's pretty hard to make awesome home makeover improvements if you're not homeowner, silly! Funny story: in 1994 I was renting a beautiful Cape Cod with my then lover Steven (who turned out to be a total dick) and we decided to make a few small changes. Who knew that the landlord wasn't going to approve of a love dungeon? Well, needless to say, I learned that lesson the hard way.

Also, you're going to need spirit and lots of it. Don't even think about starting a home makeover assignment without plenty of spirit in the bank, mister. That's SPIRIT…S-P-I-R-I-T! Spirit! You're going to need it, I'm telling you. This is not an easy project.

Okay, to get started you're also going to need to be a midget. What? Midgets need home makeover advice too. Huh, what's that…I should have mentioned that in the intro. Oh, phooey! Sometimes you just can't win.

Well, anyway, let's move on. So you're a midget and you're a homeowner and you've got lots of SPIRIT and you're ready to do a really awesome home makeover…are we on the same page people?!? Okay, let's go.

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homemaker, homemaker, homemaker...oh yeah that means your a fucking queer...HA

Posted on 04/29/2007 at 8:04:00 PM

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