Things You Shouldn't Say to Someone Recently Divorced

After my divorce, I didn't hear from some of my friends - not because they took my ex husband's side, but because I don't think they really knew what to say. It was an uncomfortable situation, and some of my closest friends quit calling. A divorce can be compared to a death, and in a way it is a death. It's the death of a marriage, and no matter who initiated the divorce, it's important to weigh your words wisely before saying something that ends up causing more harm than good when speaking to someone recently divorced.

I received calls from well meaning friends, but some of the things they said were hurtful. I know they meant well, and I didn't respond negatively, but I realized the things they said weren't appropriate to say to someone recently divorced. What they said made me think, and some of their statements really hurt. Even still, I didn't hold it against them. Sometimes it's hard to know what to say if you haven't gone through a particular situation.

I didn't want to hear my friends ripping my ex apart. What I wanted to hear more than anything was that my friends were available for me, and I wanted to know they cared. I didn't want answers or solutions. Answers weren't necessary, and solutions didn't exist. I certainly didn't want callous comments, and I was faced with the following comments when recently divorced.

If you know someone recently divorced, avoid saying the following statements. They may sound innocent, and they may sound considerate, but they're not the appropriate things to say to someone recently divorced. Letting your friend know you're available to listen and available to help in any possible way is the best thing you can say.

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