Is it Empathy or Codependency?

Question: "I'm very sensitive. I can easily feel other people emotions. But, often, it feels as though I'm just bombarded and sometimes I don't know where my emotions stop and another's begin. I just have strong empathy abilities, right?"

Answer: Maybe.

In my spiritual travels, I've met many empathetic people. Being empathetic isn't always a good thing. One dictionary defines empathetic as a "ready comprehension of others' states." Being empathetic means one can easily identify with and have an understanding of another person's feelings, situation, or motives. However, understanding another's emotions and actually feeling them are two totally different things. By taking on the feelings of another you are tapping into codependency and taking on their issues as your own.

So, what happens when you feel empathy for others too closely; so close, in fact, that you mistake it for your own or can't seem to shake it?

In these cases, I believe you have crossed the line from empathy to codependency. (Keep in mind that this is only my belief.) I'm certain you've all heard of codependency. It's so familiar in this world that it's like air -- it's everywhere. Look around...if you don't know a codependent, then you probably are one. Although the strict definition of codependency defines a person who "is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition," I think codependent traits can be exhibited whether an addition is currently present or not. As a rule, many of us are the product of our environments. If you grew up around alcoholics, you don't have to drink to have the same thought patterns and rationalization tendencies as an alcoholic. After all, if you were taught by an addict, chances are you don't know another way of thinking. As such, I'd like to offer a new definition of codependency that explains it as I've experienced it.