Sports Briefs: Love is in the Air and Courtside

(This is the debut column for the Gab Four - Joe, the senior; Chris, the adult; Brad, the teen; and Ralphie, the kid.)

Joe: My older brother went to school with legendary cartoonist Charles Schulz. Like his cartoon protagonist, Charlie Brown, Schulz was a putz. But, his family is pretty decent. And, I don't want to see anybody living on the street. That's why I purchase those insufferable Peanuts cards for my wife. You know the ones: Woe is Charlie Brown, the perpetually losing pitcher. Woe is Charlie Brown; Lucy moved the football and he fell down. Dumb schmuck. Go for two! Anyway, my wife gets one of those for Valentine's Day. And she likes them, because she knows that we saved the Schulz family from eating out of our garbage.

Chris: Your wife is lucky. I'm having a hard time adjusting to not receiving the cool, cartoon Valentines. My favorites were the Animal Crackers playing sports. My dad sold those in his drugstore for years back in the '80s. A cartoon bird dressed in football gear saying, "I'd never pass up the chance to be your Valentine!" What do you get, Ralphie?

Ralphie: Just Valentines at my school party.

Brad: Well, unlike my column mates here, I am 18 and loving it. I got the perfect prescription for passion and pleasure on Valentine's Day, unlike an old man who lacks the power and the kid who lacks all of it. I mean, how is the lil' kid supposed to write about his wee wittle Walentine's Day cards?

Ralphie: Are you crazy? You couldn't get a date for Valentine's Day!

Brad: The typical teenage heartthrob that I am has the perfect girl - her name, Jackie. Her passion (besides me, of course) is the Cleveland Cavaliers. That's how we met actually, at a LeBron James fan get-together at high school last year.

Joe: I fear for our future.