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How to Small Talk at Parties or Other Events

By Kristie Leong M.D., published Feb 21, 2008
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Some people dread attending a party or other special event because they lack the requisite social skills. What's usually lacking in those sensitive souls who cower in fear at the thought of walking into a crowded room full of people is the art of making small talk. The ability to make small talk is such an important skill that it can sometimes mean the difference between having the career you love or the romance you want and being stuck in a dead end situation. Why not learn how to master the art of small talk so you can stop making lame excuses and enjoy your next party or social event?

How to small talk: Look for someone you know

When you enter a crowded party, immediately look for someone you know and feel secure with. Approach them with a smile. This is a good way to break the ice and start feeling comfortable immediately in your new setting. That person can usually introduce you to some of the other party guests so you won't feel stranded looking for someone to talk to.

How to small talk: Don't try to be too witty

The best small talkers aren't necessarily the smartest, wittiest, or funniest people. They simply understand the art of making people feel comfortable. When you meet someone new, casually make an observation about the surroundings such as "The crab dip is delicious" or "They decorated the ballroom beautifully, didn't they?" This is a subtle, non-threatening way to break the ice. Once the ice is broken, you can offer them your hand and a brief introduction.

How to small talk: Ask open ended questions

The best way to keep the conversation from running dry is to ask open ended questions that can't be answered with a one word answer. Rather than ask "How was your trip?" rephrase it as "Tell me about your trip". This will take some of the burden off of you so you won't have to carry the entire conversation. The best small talkers are usually great listeners.

How to small talk: Come prepared

Comments
Comments 1 - 12 of 12
 
 
Excellent tips! I used to avoid going to some functions, but now I am a blabber mouth. lol I don't want to be one of those talkers that talk TOO much and are boring though! Any tips how to get away from them? lol Just kidding!

Posted on 02/23/2008 at 5:02:25 PM

 
Years in Chamber of Commerce management taught me how to do this.

Posted on 02/23/2008 at 4:02:57 PM

 
Very constructive, Kristie - almost therapeutic (smile). Actually, I find - most of the time - if you DO talk about religion, politics, or sex, you will generate an absolute fountain of conversation. Seems nearly everyone wants to talk about these subjects, but no one will talk with them. And if you can introduce all three into the same conversation, you can practice your listening skills, indeed. Like now, you could ask about McCain and his lobbist 'friend' and whether that should cause conservatives to favor Huckabee. If you're not up for solving world problems, you could just pull out pictures of your children and dogs and talk about and share those. Michael

Posted on 02/23/2008 at 12:02:42 AM

 
Excellent advice.

Posted on 02/22/2008 at 10:02:07 AM

 
Very helpful article!

Posted on 02/22/2008 at 10:02:09 AM

 
Very useful info!!

Posted on 02/22/2008 at 9:02:27 AM

 
Fantastic suggestions!

Posted on 02/22/2008 at 8:02:18 AM

 
These are great tips. Small talk is not one of my favorite things!

Posted on 02/22/2008 at 6:02:00 AM

 
z

Posted on 02/21/2008 at 7:02:19 PM

 
You're right about the witty thing...that gets obnoxious when it's overdone....great article!

Posted on 02/21/2008 at 7:02:09 PM

 
Thanks for the great tips! I am shy, so sometimes it's hard for me to talk to people (once you get to know me, people have a hard time shutting me up.)- I will have to practice these when I go out.

Posted on 02/21/2008 at 2:02:29 PM

 
these are really good tips i do this sometimes too when i don't really know what to say they work great.

Posted on 02/21/2008 at 12:02:01 PM

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