Finding Love

True love builds memories and lasts forever, but it's hard to come by. Finding enduring love is more about knowing yourself than the amount of work you are willing to put into a relationship.

I have had several jobs in my life that I hated, until I created a career that I love. I became an entrepreneur, based on the philosophy "Do what you enjoy, the money will follow." My career no longer involves "work." That is how a good marriage should be, too.

The better you understand your values, the easier it is to find love. University of Toronto Professor John Lee earned his PhD in sociology from the University of Sussex (U.K.), and is credited for developing the six basic love styles (often called colors of love) that people favor in their interpersonal relationships: Eros - a highly sensual style of love; Ludus - a love that is played as a game of sport or conquest; Storge - lovers are first and foremost best friends; Pragma - love that is driven by the head, not the heart, noted for practicality and realism; Mania - love as a means of rescue, obsession fueled by low self-esteem; and Agape - selfless altruistic love where lovers are often spiritual or religious people.

In 2007, Dr. Enzo Emanuele led a group of researchers from the University of Pavia and discovered evidence of a human genetic basis for Lee's love styles, with Eros being linked to the dopamine system and Mania to the serotonin system. No matter how hard you try, your genetic makeup may decide for you whether you love someone.

Women tend to choose husbands who look like their biological fathers - even if they are adopted and never saw their father, according to research published by Tamas Bereczkei at the University of Pécs in Hungary.

My sister and I both married similar men: Athletically gifted Latins who run marathons, are protective and epitomize machismo (the good type). Marianismo is the inverse of machismo in Latin culture, teaching that women are semi-divine, spiritual, and venerated for passivity and sexual purity. The word is derived from perceptions about The Virgin Mary. God knows I've been called "Mary" many times, but it wasn't meant as a compliment.