How Negative Self Talk Steals Your Joy

For seven years I have taught computer classes at the junior college level. So many times I hear students saying “I can’t do this, I’ll never get this, this is too hard, and I am going to fail this.” When I hear this type of negative self talk I go over right away to talk to the student. I tell them “If you tell yourself it’s too hard or that you can’t do it, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and you will not be able to do it.”

I know a lot about negative self talk and how it affects us. I am visually impaired due to being a Type 2 Albino. What this means is I have a lack of pigmentation in my hair skin and eyes. It affects my vision by not allowing me to see well at a distance even with corrective glasses. As I was growing up I struggled in school. I had to make a choice, either I was going to let my limitations get the best of me and give up or I was going to fight hard to overcome my challenges. Fortunately, with the help of my family, good friends, and very supportive mentors I was able to overcome my limitations and live a productive life.

Now that I am raising two disabled children I try to instill in them the same principles. I try to accept the things I cannot change and I try to change the things I can. When faced with a challenge I try to look for all the alternatives and I try to face it with a “can do” attitude. I didn’t get good at this overnight, I have been practicing this for nearly 34 years.

You might be wondering how you can get over talking badly about yourself especially if you have been doing this a long time or even been doing this your whole life? One way that I try to come up with alternative solutions to problems is to brainstorm ideas with others. Pick people that you feel safe sharing things with. People who are not too judgmental and who have a positive attitude.

Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member to help keep you accountable. When they hear you taking negatively about yourself ask them to gently remind you that you are trying to change this destructive behavior. It will take time, but eventually you will find yourself looking at life in a more positive light.