Marriage And Chronic Illness: How Being Sick Affects More Than Just the Patient

Chronic is a word that I have grown to hate over the years but have had to accept as a part of my daily life. I'm not the only person who has had to accept and deal with the effects of chronic illness. My whole family is impacted by the daily ramifications of living with someone who is chronically ill.

It's easy for a chronically ill patient to only think about what they are going through and how hard the illness is on them. After all, they are the ones who are suffering. But we also have to remember that when we are sick, our families have to deal with the emotional baggage that we carry plus pick up the extra physical load that we're not able to carry.

Affects on Marriage

The divorce rate among the chronically ill is 75% so obviously the struggle is very real in families dealing with chronic illness. Approximately one out of every two people is dealing with a chronic illness either directly or indirectly. Being a caregiver to someone who is sick all of the time is a huge responsibility and can be a huge burden regardless of how much you love the person.

My husband and I both have chronic illnesses so we have really had to learn how to work together as a team and to make our marriage and family work. I think because both of us are sick we can relate to each other and we understand the unexplainable symptoms, emotions and the frustration involved. It has actually made our marriage stronger and we understood going into the marriage that the vows "in sickness and in health" for us would be more sickness than health.

My first marriage failed mainly due to my chronic illnesses. My ex-husband did not believe that I was sick and thought that I was just faking it. He could not understand that with the illnesses I have remissions and flares are common and that even though right this minute I might feel good, in 20 minutes I can be bedridden.

The spouse of someone who is chronically ill may always feel as though they have to be "on" and that they can never afford to get sick or get tired. It is a lot of extra stress on them and they know that even if they don't feel good, their spouse feels worse and their needs typically have to come first.