Pissing on the Real Life �Field of Dreams': A True Story

As cynical as I am, there aren't too many days when I really feel that American society is crumbling under my feet. Today was not one of those times. My feelings toward our culture when straight down the toilet bowl when I stumbled upon a story about a man, his ten-acre property and a dream (in my home state of New Jersey no less).

William Maier is a resident of East Amwell, New Jersey, a spacious town in the farmland of Hunterdon County. About a year ago Maier decided that he wanted to build a baseball field on his vast 10-acre property. He didn't build dugouts, lights, fences, backstops or stands. No, he just constructed an infield made out of sand and threw some bases down. He even put up $15,000 worth of trees and shrubbery to shield the diamond from his neighbors. No harm, no foul…right?

Wrong. Neighbor protests led to then-zoning officer Douglas Orr's demand that Maier cease all activity on the baseball field because of the potential for an adverse "physical and quality of life impact" on the town.

Excuse my language, but what the fuck is this world coming to when a man can't play baseball with his ten-year old son in his front lawn? Please, tell me?

"I don't care if it takes me 10 years and I have to go to the Supreme Court, I won't give up," said Maier. Amen to that. Sure, the man should have sought out clearance from the proper outlets before he started constructing a diamond in his yard and I have no idea if wild, drunken softball games were the real reason for the neighbor-led protests, but I do know this… People need to lighten up, and they need to do it fast because this nation is becoming corroded by a bunch of no fun, deadpan shitheads who wouldn't know a good time from a stubbed toe. Is there really any difference between putting a baseball field (sans immovable objects) on your lawn and constructing a horseshoe pit? Other than the size? No, I didn't think so.