Adopted Children & Their Birth-Parents

My husband & I have 2 adopted children, both boys. Our first son, "S",we adopted at age 2 and our second son, "A", two years later at age 9. Adoption was always a pleasant topic we spoke of. We let out boys know how special they were and how we chose them to be in our family. Our 9 yr. old grew up with faint memories of abuse and didn't talk much about his biological parents or brother. It was painful memories he wanted to forget.

Our youngest, on the other hand, was only 2 and really didn't have any memories of where he came from but knowing he was adopted, he would ask us about his past and we answered him with minimal but truthful facts according to what we thought was appropriate for his age. We never lied to either of our sons.

Our oldest son rarely asked any questions compared to our youngest son who always wanted answers and promises to find his birth mom when he came of the legal age of 18. When "A" turned 18, he was still in high school. I got a phone call one day from a mediator who was representing A's bio-mom. She asked to speak to my son who was still in school and asked when she could return the call to talk with him. When she called back, she ask "A" if he was willing to accept a letter from his biological mother. He answered "yes". A week later, a letter came in the mail and he read it then handed it to me. In the letter, his mother addressed him by the name she had given to him at birth. (let me note that "A" chose on his own to chnage his first name when he was adopted. We did not change it.) His birth-mom expressed her love for him and explained to him how she never wanted to lose him and how the DCS tricked her into giving up her parental rights and she didn't do anything wrong. She wanted to meet him.