Daddy Discrimination in America

We have a problem here in America. Surprising, right? Drugs. Immigration. War. Violence. But would you be surprised if I said the problem of which I am speaking is the discrimination of fathers? Well, that is the problem. Now, some of you have never experienced anything that relates to this issue. In that case, don't take my word for it, just look it up. There are others, doubtlessly, that will adamantly disagree based on their own experiences. The rest will nod their heads in disgruntled agreement. "The rest" of whom I am speaking is fathers. Well, and those that have dealt with the family court system.

Now, I could go on and on about the fact that 90% of all cases of custody go in favor of the mother. I could admit that the 2002 Job and Family Services report indicated that 83% of abuse and neglect charges are against mothers. I could complain that 92% of child support paid is paid by the father. But, to do that would take more than just this column. It would take a book.

Instead, I have decided to focus on something slightly smaller. Individuals. After all, it is individuals that make up these organizations. It is individuals that ultimately invoke change. It is also individuals that hold tightly to the old school stigmas that have put fathers in this awful mess. Most of us don't even notice that we do it. So, let me give you an example that is on a more individual basis.

My fiancé has custody of his three children. He has had custody of them for several years and it took a lot of effort to get to that place. During the time of back to back court dates and meeting with guardians, he and I discussed this discrimination regularly. But, once everything was settled, the discussions came less and less. Still, every once in a while, one of the old schoolers will rear their head and remind us of that battle.