Common Myths About Substitute Teaching Exposed

When I wrote my last article on substitute teaching back in the fall, I had been hired by a suburban district, and I had signed up for all grades. My main idea was to see if I could really succeed at it. For after all, the inner city school system, about nine or ten years earlier, had found me unfit for the position. The worst part about that is that most of the time no one was telling me what I was doing wrong, or what about me as a substitute was creating a rub with the administration of the school. What was making them so angry that they were requesting that I be removed from the pool of subs for their school? I did not find out that I was unemployable as a substitute teacher until the complaints had accumulated to unacceptable levels. Then one Friday morning--December 10, 1999, to be exact, I called in as usual to request an assignment. The dispatcher told me, "We have nothing. Make an appointment with the director of Human Resources.

This left me wondering why the director of Human Resources wanted to set up an appointment with me. They were all being very mysterious, as if guarding classified information.

However, when I did reach her, I asked her what seemed to be the problem, and what would be the purpose of such meeting. She told me, "There have been concerns about you as a substitute teacher in virtually every single building you've subbed in."

"Let's get it worked out," I said, "so that we can cut this off at the pass." She replied, "It's too late. They don't want you back."

After weeks of mystery and suspense that lasted throughout Christmas break, I was shown my file. It was an avalanche of letters complaining about my lack of classroom management skills. What I did NOT learn in teacher's college was that that was everything. I learned that whatever goes on in that classroom IS your fault--you are the teacher, and you are expected to be able to control the children--all of them.

So, based on that, here are some things that, as sure as you were born, will cause you to be asked not to return to a given school. Just follow these simple rules and count the days before you will once again be in the unemployment line: