Advice for Men Who Keep Striking Out

Are you sick and tired of striking out? Girls blowing you off for no detectable reason? Haven't had a date in a year, can't even get one with the losers on the dating sites? Can't figure out what you're doing wrong?

First, give up the idea that it's her. It's not her. It's you. Until and unless you find out different, assume it's you. You're not a loser (are you?) - of course not, but maybe you could use a bit of polishing up.

Think about the last date you went on, the last lady who slipped out of your palm before you got a chance to close your fingers. And ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you setting your expectations too high?

Sure, every man wants Miss America (this year's). It doesn't seem to matter what he himself looks like; he can have a head the size of a baseball, a beer gut that gets through the door an hour before he does, and a scruffy, bald head with bits of last Saturday's lunch stuck to it; he may smell like used motor oil and have so much dirt under his fingernails he's been accused of painting them black, but he still wants - and somehow, believes he deserves - a gorgeous young chick who will look at him like Scarlett looked at Rhett. Chance of that happening? Zero to none.

But say you've met this lovely old/young lady and she's graciously agreed to have coffee with you. There are pretty women and there are gorgeous women, but even if she actually is the latest Miss America, don't talk about her beauty. Don't tell her she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen (you've seen lots of pretty women, right?) Find something else about her to admire: her profile, her clothes, her talent, her family, etc.