Homophobic Democrats and the Curse of the 1,000-Dollar Man-Cher in Atlantic City

I just want to sit back and admire that title, do you mind? Homophobic Democrats and the Curse of the 1,000-Dollar Man-Cher in Atlantic City… wow, I wish I could just find a stock photo that sums up that statement, post it with no "story" and just quit while I'm ahead. I mean, seriously, what can I really say in the body of this article that could even sniff the butt crack of that title's magnitude? Then again, maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe it's not that funny. Why do I get so giddy over such stupid stuff? Hmmm, fodder for a completely different article. Alright, moving on, let's get to that body…

This is a true story. Sure I took liberty with my title to get some readers on board, but I'm a marketing genius like that (don't hate, player). Bottom line is this (is to early to bring out the ‘bottom line', I haven't even said anything yet, oh well): Ever since the Great Gay Governor Scandal of 2004, you know, the one involving Democrat Jim "So I was sleeping with the unqualified male intern who I made homeland security adviser" McGreevy, New Jersey's Democratic Party has been a little bit homophobic. Up until now I never had any proof of this, it was just like an anti-gaydar, reverse feeling or something, but now I got the goods thanks to nj.com, the online home of my favorite NJ paper, The Star Ledger (the same paper Tony gets on ‘The Sopranos'). Here's an excerpt from an article entitled ‘He was no Cher, and Democrats were not sunny' by Tom Moran:

"She wore a slinky black dress with silver sparkles, just like Cher. She had curly black hair, too. And canned music so she could sing along with Cher's greatest hits. But this was not your traditional impersonator. Because underneath it all, this lady was a man.