I Am An Evil Stepmother

Well it has been all of 2 months since my stepdaughter deemed it necessary to grace us with her presence. Nevermind the fact that we have been the one true constant in the life of a girl whose life has been filled with instability, at the hands of her dear sweet mother. She is approaching the age of 12, and I am 11 years into a parental relationship with a girl who has basically decided she now hates us. Oh the joys of prepubesence and the fun associated with raising a child in 2 homes.

The relationship with my stepdaughter has been spiraling downward for about 2 years now. Not only with me, but with her father as well. It has left me extremely baffled, especially knowing that we had not changed anything or done anything differently. We still had expectations of her, age appropriate of course, and we have been trying to teach her responsiblity, accountablility, and have been trying to prepare her for what the real world will hold her. Boy, what were we thinking? How dare we expect anything more of her, above and beyond being a child! What is wrong with us? Can you believe that we would do such a thing?

I say this with a hint of sarcasm, because I was enlightened to the entire situation with a lengthy conversation with my stepdaughters birth mother. I can honestly say we are not the best of friends, but we have generally, for the most part maintained an amiciable relationship for the sake of my stepdaughter. In all actuality I laid a lot of the blame of my stepdaughter's sense of entitlement on my inlaws. They had constantly coddled her and held her at a far lesser standard than any of the other grandchildren. Constantly siting the fact that she has "had a rough life" and their entire basis for this is the fact that she lives in 2 households. So, forgive me if I do not forsee the fact that she lives in 2 households with two sets of parents that love and care for her as "a rough life". I guess I am old fashioned that way!