Great Birthday Party Games

Hello everyone! I want to share with you all some of my favorite birthday party games.

I love birthday parties. Celebrating your child's slow descent into the grave is one of the wiser ways to waste finances. I've fathered seventeen, so I know a thing or two, about a thing or two. When my offspring age, I spare no expense. And listen up, city boy! I won't hear nothin bout no sissy pin the tail on no donkey neither. I make up my own birthday party games. Here's a few.

Check it!

1. No Cake for Mistakes.

Gather all birthday party children in a circle. Next, place a pre-sliced cake in the middle of the circle. Now have the children determine who is the least liked. That child is the mistake, and is placed in the middle with the cake. The mistake must hand cake to the other children, one by one, counterclockwise. Before the jubilant child can receive their scrumptious birthday cake, they must hurl a 4 ounce stone at the mistake. If they strike the mistake, they receive their cake and the game continues. If they miss, they receive no cake and become the mistake. The game ends when all of the cake is eaten.

2. Snack Down Smack Down.

Amass a large pile of candy, at least seventy pounds worth. Dump it onto the middle of the living room floor. At the sound of the pistol, every child is to run blindly into the pile and eat as much as they can. Children lose points for choking and vomiting. Any child showing signs of internal bleeding will be disqualified and beaten immediately. The winner is determined by the before and after weigh in and receives an extremely sharp hunting knife.

3. Hey! Who Stole My Glasses?

Assemble the children. Take the ones with impaired vision and separate them from the others. They are not as good you see. It is now the job of the strong, pure children to steal the glasses of the weak. The weak are to defend in whatever feeble way they can. The first team to cry, loses. The winners feast on peanut butter cups.

4. Wardrobe Wars.