My Mother: Parent First, Friend Always

I overheard a woman speculating that no matter what...she always wanted to be her daughter's best friend first and foremost. Her words made me think of my own mother...

My mother is an amazing woman. Growing up, I never thought of her as "friend" in terms of what I thought friendship was. She was always my mom. As an adult, I have never been more grateful or more appreciative for that stabilizing force in my life. I hear moms talk about wanting to be their children's best friend all the time, and honestly it saddens me. A parent is a parent, and although there is a deep friendship, they should and must be the parent first.

My mom never tried to act buddy buddy allowing me to have boys spend the night. She never bought a bottle of booze for a party. She always expected me to arrive home by curfew and would never justify cursing or rude abusive behavior. Ironically, I never thought of her as strict or thought of my childhood as restricted. I feel like she taught me an important lesson. It was instilled in me to work hard for anything I wanted, be independent and make good choices and most importantly to recognize when I messed up and be ready to face the consequences.

I think one of the problems when parents want to be best friends with their children is they aren't willing to enforce rules or punishments because they don't want to be thought of as the "bad guy." My question is, how do you expect your children to grow up and mature into adults that are willing to work hard? If you always give them what they want, cater to their needs, or bend rules in the household, you will be left with a self indulgent adult that isn't adequately prepared for the real world.

I always knew my mom was there for me whenever I needed her, and in times I thought her judgment would rain down upon me, she offered a hug and kind word. My mom recognized that I was human and flawed and never judged me - she guided me.