Coping with Divorce: A Guide for Children and Their Parents

When the bond of holy matrimony separates it is never easy for all those involved, especially the little tikes who do not know that life is hardly a bowl of cherries. Life should be a bowl of cherries.

Four of the primary issues faced by children when coping with divorce are: 1) the nature of love, 2) guilt, 3) new more grown up experiences, 4) and cynicism.

Love is wanton fondness. It is the bond between people that brings them closer together. When the bond is strong enough people get married. Sometimes, that bond falls apart.

When the bond falls apart, the reasons are debatable. Roles in relationships change year by year, month by month, golf by soap operas, cards by fourplay, and corporation by home and garden. There are lots of thngs that get in the way of a man and his wife, a woman and her husband, and their ability to keep that bond strong and sacred. Ultimately when they separate, it is because they are weak. They are weak from attempting to express their love towards each other, they are weak from negotiating over differences, and they are weak because they cannot effectively achieve any of those goals with anybody other then themselves. Whatever the reason may be, love is the most powerful force in the universe; controlling it does not only take skill, but a lot of luck as well. Not everybody is lucky in love, no matter how hard they try.

When there is a divorce, it is important for the children to avoid feeling guilty. They should cope by not taking that credit. The credit belongs to the ones who created the familiar foundation in the first place. Children who cope by retaining that guilt will suffer greatly. It may cripple them. However, by the age of 18 it will have all but vanished. If it has not, they should seek immediate medical attention. Young children who cope by holding on to that guilt should be left alone until such time. They have responsibility issues that will go away the minute they encounter their first failed love affair.