Expressing Concern when Your Friend is Terminal: What to Do when the Mentally Challenged Get Bad Health News

As an adult special needs bus driver I see the same people every day, year after year. To say you become a part of their daily life is an understatement. Greeting them every morning, wishing them a good day as they leave the bus to go to work, and welcoming them when you return to deliver them home. I call them my Peeps (People), with the utmost respect. They rely on me to be there on time, to take care of them while in my charge, and to console them when the day has gone badly. We truly enjoy each others company.

Over the past six months I've lost a few from my passenger list. Some due to none life threatening health issues, and a couple that died unexpectedly. These, as a driver, I accept as a part of life. Many handicapped people have a somewhat precarious grip on life, and due to no fault of their own sometimes loose their grasp.

I feel comfortable that while they were in my care, I did the best I could to accommodate them, and make their time in transport as enjoyable for them as possible. Many times we drive the "Long Way " home, just to cross the city on the scenic byway allowing them to see the ship traffic down in the harbor below, or enjoy a particular bright sunny warm day.

In the spring we stop and watch the Canadian Geese that nest along the road as it passes Moogy Lake. With a new batch of gosling's they enjoy watching their progress through the summer and wait for their departure when they head south for the winter.

We watch for deer daily, at times seeing as many as a dozen or so during a single trip. They will call out when they see one that I may have missed as I was paying attention to my driving. You can see we have become very close, with our lives intertwined as we include information about our families in our conversations.

Last week a new situation presented itself. One of my passengers, who hasn't been feeling to good much of the past winter, went into the hospital. Within the week the diagnosis came back, Cancer, pretty much everywhere. This person is about 60 yrs old, though is more or less at the level of a young person. Communicating must be simple with short sentences, being careful not to use complex words.