Talking About Sex with Your Lover

The word "intercourse" describes an interaction, an exchange of thoughts and feelings. That's precisely what enjoyable sexual intercourse is all about. It's a conversation between bodies as well as minds, ideally in the same language. No wonder communication is absolutely vital to wonderful sex!

When discussing sex with your partner don't feel that anything that affects your comfort, pleasure, or wellbeing is too small to bother with. Your partner wants to please you and understanding what you like and don't like is the surest way to make you both happy.

The ideal way to talk about sex is as the thought arises, casually, and without pressure. However, since many people are skittish about discussing sex, sexual issues tend to build up. Once this has happened you need to re-open the sexual discourse between lovers so you can re-invigorate the sexual intercourse between you.

To begin with, figure out what it is you want to talk about. It's best to be clear when you talk about sex. If you are dissatisfied with sex, figure out exactly what you find unsatisfactory such as the frequency or timing of sex. If you want to try something new because you are "bored in the bedroom" think about what exactly you'd like to try. Writing these thoughts down can help you get a handle on what you are going to say. It also helps you decide how to phrase your conversation. If you read what you've written down you can concentrate on removing the negatives.

Focus on the positives and don't place blame.