MTV's Next : The Last Great Reality Dating Show?

My addiction to reality television is not only horribly embarrassing; it's totally detrimental to my mental health. It's like heroin in that way. I know that it's bad for me yet I can't stop taking it. MTV has been at the forefront of the reality revolution since the very beginning, and when it comes to reality dating shows, they might be the very best. Some will say that ‘Blind Date' is still the cream of the dating show crop, but not I. Although, most of people on that show seem to be auditioning for acting jobs (or at least another reality TV gig), they seem to lack the "holy shit, this is so contrived yet I am oblivious to the fact that I am a pawn" attitude that is rife on MTV's ‘Next', a show that has become the flagship of their vast reality dating show fleet.

(SIDE NOTE: Isn't it funny how reality stars and contestants no longer strive for real stardom like Elisabeth from ‘Survivor' [The View]. The only thing these people can legitimately hope for is a second and third appearance on a different reality show. It's kind of sad.)

Of course, ‘Room Raiders' had a pretty good run at the top of the class. But that show grew old despite numerous updates, gimmicks and locale changes. The great thing about ‘Next' is its formula. It needs no tweaking-it is tweak-free. In case you don't about this show, let me tell you how it works…

On ‘Next', there are five contestants who vie for the attention of one male or female participant. They come out one by one and participate in totally atypical dates like playing with clay or scaling telephone poles. When the main participant has decided that he or she doesn't like the contestant they say "next," which ends that particular date and signals the "next" dater. The greatest part of this show is the inevitable moment when a person is ‘nexted' the instance they've stepped off the bus; happens every time.

Actually, I'm lying. The best part of this show happened recently when a preppy white kid with curly locks a leftist mentality ‘nexted' a cute, Asian virgin. This is exactly the dialogue that transpired between the two…