Derek Jeter Vs. Alex Rodriguez: A Fictional Death Match in the Bronx

Tom Verducci's landmark Sports Illustrated cover story on New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez has it the fan like shit. Meaning: The repercussions of it have been splattered all over the media landscape like poop hitting a fan. (SIDE NOTE: Where did this saying come from anyway? "The shit hits the fan?" Did, at one time or another, shit literally hit a fan? How gross is that thought? Even if that wasn't the case, shouldn't we question the mental health of the guy who THOUGHT about shit hitting the fan? I don't know, just something to think about I guess.) Anyway, by this point, I'm sure you've heard about, if not read the SI story entitled "The Lonely Yankee". It has become quite the story.

I gage a New York sports story's importance by a number of factors. A) How many news outlets are covering? B) Is it all over Mike and the Mad Dog? C) Has it owned the front of the sports pages for at least a few days? And D) Has ESPN been covering it in the first fifteen minutes of SportsCenter for at least three days in a row? Well, this A-Rod fiasco has scored a "yes" on all four of those points. It's officially a mega-story.

There are too many awesome quotes in this article for me to mention any of them here; it would just be too hard to pick any specific ones out (read the article for yourself if you want:

ttp://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/magazine/09/19/arod0925/index.html). On the Yankee telecast last night, Al Leiter made a great point. He said that the real story here isn't so much the whole A-Rod and Jeter debacle, but the fact that SI writer Tom Verducci was granted such unlimited access. Aside from maybe Peter Gammons, Tom Verducci has been the official voice of baseball from a sportswriter's perspective. And after this article, he may have risen to the top.

Anywho, enough of the Verducci Lovefest, let's get to the fictional battle in the Bronx. Who would win, Derek Jeter or A-Rod?

According to this article and by most other accounts, Jeter and A-Rod pretty much hate each other. So I got to thinking, what would happen if the two were forced to fight it out in cage match to the death? Here's my take on the absurd topic…