My Own Personal Crohn's Nightmare

They used to awaken me at night; I had difficulty figuring out whether my wet clothes were caused by fear or were merely the result of Crohn's night sweats.

I would sleep a couple of hours, then find myself sitting upright, shaking. Once my brain cleared, I recognized outright fear in the form of a nightmare. It happened over and over again.

Unlike young or newly diagnosed patients with Crohn's disease, I have been living with the illness a long time. At age 60, I realize I've been plagued by the symptoms since childhood. However, I wasn't diagnosed until age 31, following dozens of visits to emergency rooms and zillions of tests. This part of my story is typical of many patients I've encountered over the years.

In my twenties, I had two rectal surgeries undoubtedly caused by the undiagnosed disease. With each frantic trip to the hospital for what I now know were partial small-bowel obstructions, I vaguely wondered if I'd still be able to make the hot date planned for Saturday night. Or if my absence at work the next day would be noticed, resulting in a coveted promotion being lost.

I was finally diagnosed in Tucson by a gastroenterologist who had seen many patients with Crohn's disease while doing a residency at Mt. Sinai in New York. This occurred when my daughter, my only child, was just two months old. My greatest fear then was that I would be unable to care for her. Once I had a label for what was wrong with me, I spent more and more time worrying that her father would prefer a healthier marriage partner. That nightmare shortly came true.