The Mystical Ritual of Yuppie Dating

Yuppies in their natural urban habitat engage in a complex courtship ritual known as the first date. Let us observe two indicative members of the species – Steve and Jane – as they undertake this fascinating behavior.

  
 Steve arrives five minutes early at the restaurant, rubbernecking as though he just stole a purse. Upon seeing that his pre-arranged companion for the evening has not yet arrived, he darts into the bathroom where he proceeds to adjust his hair and check his teeth. Emerging, Steve looks the same but seems to feel a whole lot better. He is shown to an empty table set for two by a waiter.

Jane arrives ten minutes late. Prior to entering the restaurant, she checks herself in a pocket mirror and make several complex last-minute adjustments which result in no appreciable improvement in her looks, but make her feel a whole lot better. She then enters the restaurant and is shown to the table where Steve is trying desperately to look thoughtful and nonchalant, but is in fact bored out of his wits.