Superman Speaks: A Candid Interview with the Man of Steel

Those of us of a certain age know that Superman, super though he may be, has aged here on Earth. The baby that was found by the Kent's in the American Midwest, grew into the boy who lived in Smallville and later into the man who moved to Metropolis. It was obvious from the get go that here on Earth, Superman would be susceptible to the same ubiquitous darkness that await all Earthlings, aging and eventual death.

Although DC comic writers would have us believe that he died a few years ago, that was just exploitation fabricated press. Superman, now nearly 80 Earth years old, lives in quiet retirement among many aging Earthlings in South Florida and agreed to this interview on the condition that I not reveal his current assumed identity or his present location in specific.

We are sitting on his veranda on a typically warm and balmy South Florida morning, sipping pomegranate juice with a spritz of seltzer, and looking out over the gently lapping breaking waves along the shore only thirty feet or so from where we are sitting as I conduct what I believe to be the one-and-only genuine interview with his Superness.

Due to my promise to maintain his privacy, I shall call him "Superman," a name he never gave himself - or even, as it turns out thought about himself as being.

Me: Well, Superman. This is quite an honor for me. I read and cherished all the DC comics about you as a kid and now, here I am, talking to you in person.

Superman: Well, you might be a little too easy to impress. Most of that DC stuff was Bogus, you know. Those guys - What were their names? - Jerry Siegeland Joe Shuster, I think, had pretty active imaginations. I read a few issues myself and kind of had a hard time identifying with their version of who and what I was.

Me: Wow! That never occurred to me, Superman. Most readers of those comics took them as literal and accurate descriptions of you, your history and your deeds. I am interested in knowing about who and what you have seen yourself as being.