Sports Briefs: Mad as a March Hare

Brad: In like a lamb, out like a lion--in like a lion, out like a lamb. Such is the old axiom that guides the weather patterns in March. And boy howdy has this March turned out to come in like a rip roarin' lion!

Chris: Yes, eating Cadbury eggs and blue Marshmallow Peeps shaped like bunnies cause many a gastric problem among revelers. Or were you referring to March Madness?

Ralphie: Peanut butter filled bunnies and Winterfresh gum . . . Do they puree your candy at the senior center for you, Joe?

Joe: What's with all the candy talk on this forum? Are you young turks mocking me because you still have all your teeth and I don't? Candy does nothing for me. But, back in the day, give me a good licorice whip from The General Store and stand back. I think they cost a penny. Or, a wooden nickel. I can't remember which . . .

Brad: Oh . . . did I mention? My family is Jewish, we don't celebrate Easter. And Passover--well, I'm trying out a new diet, so gefilte fish is out--nothing but collard and kale soup for me!

Chris: That entrée would have been a wise choice after eating two full bags of gummy bears, which is what I did while watching first-round NCAA games many moons ago.

Joe: After the abrupt ending to my basketball playing days, I shied away from the sport for awhile. Then, I recaptured my love for the game in the early 1980s. In fact, I was so swept up by the "Madness" that I went to New Orleans for the 1993 Final Four. Only one problem: I didn't have tickets. So, I snuck in. I was busted immediately. With the cops and security goons on my tail, I took off down the concourse, then deep into the bowels of The Superdome. As I ducked around a corner, I ran right into some yahoo in my way. I knocked him out cold. Oh-oh. He was one of the officials. Fortunately, I'd seen enough madcap comedies in my day to know what needed to be done. I swapped clothes with him and walked onto the court. I called a great game. And, I loved giving Webber that "T" for calling a non-existent timeout. I laughed and laughed outside the Michigan huddle after that one. Kids are stupid.