Pretending to Be Necessary

There were so many parts of Chapter 3 of "A New Earth" that resonated with me that I found it difficult to decide what to write about here. I ended up re-watching the online class tonight as I wanted to understand and review it in greater depth. In that review, I was struck by Eckhart Tolle's comment that "Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose." He was talking about the core of ego. He goes on to make the point that no matter how much you worry, it won't bring about change. In other words, no amount of worrying will bring the change you may be seeking. The same goes with complaining.

Yet around us, and within us, we probably hear those voices of worry and complaints often. Often they are expressed as voices in our heads. Sometimes we verbalize them to others or hear others verbalize them to us. Some people may spend their entire days thinking about their worries or complaining about situations, people or their problems. These voices are all the ego.

The ego loves drama. The more attention we give to our worries and complaints, the more worries and complaints we'll have. It's a concept from the law of attraction: "What you think about comes about." (or) "What you resist, persists," or as Eckhart says, "What you fight, you strengthen and what you resist, persists" (page 75).

What is even more powerful to realize is that when we verbalize our worries and complaints, the more we are likely to attract others to join our "worry circle" or "complainers' corner." Think about how office gossip spreads, or how two parents can stay up late with worry over their teenage child's failure to make a phone call saying that he or she was running late. We can get so wrapped up in the complaints or worry that we only see the negative in a person or situation. This leads to imagining all kinds of things, such as untrue motivations of another person, or imagining the worst case scenario in all cases. The drama of all of this can erupt into misunderstandings, hurt feelings, arguments, fights, and even violence, if the ego identifies passionately about the matter.